Honest Conversations with Yourself
Bringing yourself to a place of self reflection comes with an enormous requirement that many people aren’t prepared to enter. Self reflection brings you face-to-face with yourself and-when done properly-doesn’t allow room for escape. It can be rather uncomfortable and dark at times, but you shouldn’t shy away from entering this space. The goal is to come out on the other end a step closer to being the better you. Three things are required when partaking in self reflection: accountability, absolute honesty, and the elimination of excuses.
You must hold yourself accountable for who you are and your actions. I’m sure that you’ve heard it before: “No one is here to hold your hand.” Holding yourself accountable isn’t about being hard on yourself. It’s not about punishing yourself. It is a form of love and care. You must be there for yourself to ensure that you are staying on track and doing the things that move you forward. Life happens-sometimes we get sidetracked. Accountability will nudge you to get back into your structure or encourage you to create systems to move your forward if there isn’t one in place. This isn’t magically done for you. You must acknowledge where you continue to fall short and address them. Then, you can take the appropriate action to correct them.
People that love and care for you will sometimes soften the truth to make you feel better and honestly, that is the reason why many of them may be around. It’s not often that you find groups where there is absolute honesty amongst friends and family members. It can be annoying and create uncomfortable settings. Because this honesty is oftentimes not provided by those around you, you must ensure that you provide this for yourself. Do not lie to yourself about who you are and your shortcomings. Enter into that dark room and confess. What obstacles do you continue to face? Why do they continue to resurface? Where are you falling short? What traps do you keep falling for? What is the recurring cycle? Why do you always notice the cycles that cause you to stumble or fall short yet continue to fall for the trap? Take full accountability and answer these questions with absolute honesty.
It’s so easy to dismiss the areas where we fall short, write them off until next time, or never acknowledge them at all. However, you shouldn’t try to fool yourself. You can see exactly who you are. You wouldn’t want to think or feel negatively about yourself, which is why the areas in which you struggle are looked past. But this isn’t about thinking negatively about yourself. It’s about eliminating excuses, not giving yourself another way out, and finally entering into the phase of refinement. Others will offer excuses for you. You can’t afford to. Constantly giving yourself excuses can become extremely dangerous. Step out of your way and win the battle.
We all have trials and obstacles that we deal with in our lives, but they are winnable as long as we don’t sit down and accept defeat. The only way that you can win is by first reflecting and facing yourself head on. Hold yourself accountable. No one else will properly do this for you. Ensure that you are completely honest about where you are facing trouble. Lastly, do away with the excuses that seem to auto-populate within your mind and provide you with an escape plan. The goal is to improve, but this is not possible without being honest with who you are and where you are. Do not back down.
