It’s fascinating how we can look at a person and their life from the outside and assume they have it all together. We see what’s presented to us, but what lies beneath is rarely seen. The fears, insecurities, and struggles are there as well. We just don’t always see them. Humans come in many different packages. At the core are the same things, no matter how they are disguised by a person.
Sometimes, others place this image on a person. They may not even embrace it, but it sticks. It can become somewhat of a prison that they can’t escape. A prisoner to the world around them, forced to live up to a life and expectations built by others. It happens often. And when the person speaks out against it, responses are heard such as, “This was your decision,” "This was your choice,” or “You signed up for this.” To a degree, there are some truths to this.
It’s a difficult place for a person to find themselves, but accountability must be found as early as possible in life, along with your own voice and identity. The latter two can’t be rushed. They take time and come simply through living. But your voice and identity becomes impactful, starts to affect things and people around you, so you move carefully. Are you living for others at this point? Maybe. But you’re doing the right thing and you’re carrying it well. You make it look so good! Everyone’s pleased-even you…so it appears from the outside. You’re not neglecting yourself…are you? At some point, you have to consider the life you’re living for yourself. Not just the life that works for everyone else. Make room for your own voice.
But what if you actually lived for yourself? Truly. Things start to change. You look different to those around you. You’ve changed. You're no longer who people thought you were. Are you being selfish? You’re spiraling, falling off, losing it. Who are you? You’re you! Listening to your own voice. Following your own heart. Living for yourself. You’re no longer living up to the image that people on the outside have placed on you. Your intention isn’t to hurt anyone. You’re making choices that feel honest to who you are. So why does it feel like something has gone wrong? Their disappointment may be real, but it doesn’t mean that your decision is wrong. You can still care about how they feel without giving up your right to choose.
The image they held of you may be gone, but maybe it was never the whole picture to begin with. What matters now is the image you hold of yourself finally feels clear, honest, and your own.
