The Illusion of Arrival
If given a brush and a blank canvas and asked to paint a picture of what success looks like, would you be able to? Paint the image(s) that come to mind when you think of success. You could paint an image that you hope to, perhaps, one day achieve or you could paint an image of a life that you already have.
According to a 2019 Gallup report, there is a surprisingly wide gap between how Americans view society’s perception of what success is compared to how success is defined for them personally. The study was conducted across eight domains: education, relationships, character, finance, health, work, quality of life, and status. The report showed that 68% of people viewed themselves as successful by their own definition compared to 31% based on what they felt were societal definitions of success. The top three perceived societal drivers for success were status (45.9%), education (19.8%), and finance (8.8%). Personal determinants were education (17.1%), relationships (15.6%), and character (15.4%). The key takeaway from this report is that you must determine what success means for you. This requires you to settle yourself for a moment of reflection and decide on the path you must take.
Success can feel impossible until you reach it. Then it can feel underwhelming. Success can feel like a destination that you will never be able to reach when you’ve consistently been on the journey. What happens then? You have to first, avoid viewing success as a destination or as if it has a finish line. Success should be approached as being a set of benchmarks or goals along the way to a bigger vision that you have for yourself. The purpose is to reach the next benchmark. Try not to have a grand finale from the very start. You’ll bite off more than you can chew and you’ll miss the lessons that you are intended to learn along the way. It is a set up for failure, disappointment, and a critical blow to your confidence.
Success can be somewhat of a gift and a curse. You’ve heard the stories of successful people feeling unfulfilled and empty after they have seemingly achieved their goals. Why do you think that is? Going back to our point, it is because success is not a finish line. Life is one long journey that doesn’t end because you’ve gotten married, have freedom of time, and have traveled half of the world, believe it or not. If these were on your list of things to acquire or accomplish, they were simply benchmarks. You have to view things differently. Challenge yourself; push yourself. What haven’t you done? What have you been somewhat afraid to do, but maybe have always wanted to do? Maybe you have everything, acquired all of the assets that you can think of, but you’re not in control of your time. Perhaps, this should be your next benchmark. You might have time and resources, maybe it’s time to become more hands on by aiding surrounding communities. The main idea is that there are always more areas of finding success. I assure you, you haven’t done it all and likely never will.
In conclusion, you must reflect and decide on what a successful life looks like for you. Aim high, but remember to focus on reaching checkpoints versus trying to see the checkered flag at a time when you think it’s right. Once you’ve gotten there, don’t search for a particular feeling or validation. Just know that you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. Feel good about that, but then strive to keep building; upon that same goal or within yourself. Success, however you eventually come to define it, can be beautiful. It can also be tainted and become a bitter enemy that will destroy your world. You hold the power to shape what it means; mold it. Don’t chase an imaginary outward image of what you’ve been given. Success is nothing until you, the artist, decides to paint and truly give it meaning.
